


The Pursuit of Knowledge

by lifting_belly



Series: Tethered [3]
Category: The Fall (TV), The Fall (UK 2013)
Genre: A little plot but mostly porn, And anyway I reject the plot/porn binary, F/F, Femslash, First Time, Fluff and Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-24
Updated: 2016-06-03
Packaged: 2018-06-10 10:16:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6952570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lifting_belly/pseuds/lifting_belly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“So you’re saying you want to find out?” </p><p>“Yes,” Reed says, quiet and sure. “And I’m saying it will mean something for me, too.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Solving Problems

**Author's Note:**

> fyi: sexy times begin in chapter two  
> (which should be up within a day or two!)
> 
> i've been having such fun writing this pairing; thanks for reading!

A few nights after her stay in Stella’s room, Reed meets her for a late drink at a hole-in-the-wall pub two blocks from the mortuary. Her husband is at home with the girls, so she shouldn’t stay much past midnight. Even though she doesn’t really talk to Liam about work anymore, he knows enough about the task force to know that it’s been a heavy burden and that the last thing Reed needs is him complaining about her getting a drink with a colleague. She can tell he wants to complain, though, and she knows he has a right to. She’s barely been home this week, working late most nights and staying with Stella after the shooting.

They live in two different worlds, Reed and her husband. While they were once best friends and still achieve that connection occasionally, the only thing that seems to unite them anymore is parenting. It’s not that she doesn’t like him; she’s just not the same woman she was when they met and married, and he hasn’t really kept up. Or maybe neither of them is the same person, and they’ve just grown in different directions.

Either way, more and more, it feels like they have nothing to talk about, no shared language except in the contexts of raising their daughters and managing the family. She can’t imagine he’s happy with the state of their marriage. They haven’t been having sex more than once or twice a month for the past year and a half. It’s gotten to the point that Reed needs to be a little tipsy to relax enough to come. Neither has attempted to bring up the growing distance.

Reed never gives Stella this much detail, and Stella never asks.

* * *

She arrives just before ten to find Stella tucked away in a small corner booth, a glass of red wine in her hand. She seems anxious, but once their eyes meet, her expression relaxes and opens.

“Wine?” Reed’s eyes imply the ‘why’ as she slides in next to Stella, sitting a bit closer than she would’ve a week ago.

“Too easy to overdo it on the hard stuff,” Stella answers with a small smile.

“You look good.” Reed’s eyes wander to her clavicle, her wrist, her fingers dancing on the stem of her glass.

“So do you,” Stella husks, already feeling damp between her legs.

Reed goes up to the bar and orders a bottle of whatever Stella’s drinking, to share. They spend a few minutes in easy conversation, catching one another up on their days and talking shop. Then Reed detects a nervous energy return to Stella’s demeanor. It’s a subtle hum, but she picks up on it nonetheless.

They sip their wine in silence for a few long moments.

“There’s something I think I should tell you.” Stella turns her blue eyes on Reed’s brown.

“What’s that?”

“I slept with Tom Anderson.” She says it quickly. It feels way too much like confessing some major transgression, and Stella knows this is a symptom of other, deeper feelings that flow between and around them, like a river about to breach its banks.

“Really.” It’s not a question. The warmth in Reed’s belly turns to knots, but she keeps her expression neutral. “When?”

Stella looks away, but not because she’s ashamed. It’s always awkward to have these kinds of conversations. Normally she resents them. This time, she worries she’s hurting Reed.

“The night before the shooting,” she answers softly.

“Why are you telling me?” Something in her question betrays an undercurrent of grief, a subtle pleading that mourns her loss of ignorance.

“So that you don’t find out in some other way and wonder if I kept it from you for a reason.” She doesn’t have to reference James Olson and the _Belfast Chronicle_ explicitly.

Reed is silent. She sips her wine. Stella watches her, trying to read her body language, and waits. Reed feels such a mess of things that she lets it all turn into a kind of mental white noise. She becomes opaque so quickly it unnerves Stella.

When she finally speaks, all that comes out is a controlled, “Okay.”

“Okay?” Stella asks after a moment. “What does that mean?”

“What do you want me to say?”

“You could tell me what you’re thinking.”

“I don’t think I should.”

“Do you think less of me?” Stella asks, wishing for opacity of her own.

“No,” Reed states firmly and immediately, looking straight at her. “No.”

“Then tell me what you’re thinking.” There’s a hint of desperation in Stella’s voice, and it finally occurs to Reed that her reaction matters. Stella needs more from her than bare acceptance.

“I’m frustrated,” Reed says, allowing some anger to come through her words. “I don’t like that he’s been with you, that he’s seen you, and I haven’t. But then I remember that I’m the one who’s married.”

“You’ve seen far more of me than Tom Anderson ever will,” Stella counters quietly. When Reed doesn’t respond, she goes on. “I don’t dislike him, but I slept with him because he’s very pretty and I needed sex.” Stella pauses to sip her wine thoughtfully; Reed actually smiles a little in spite of herself. “I treated him as an object. Poor Tom is collateral damage in my evil plot to take down the heteropatriarchy.” Stella tries to hide a smirk.

“Well, in that case,” Reed remarks with a wry look, “I feel very sorry for Tom Anderson.”

“You should,” Stella continues, her voice sincere, surprising even herself at how much she wants Reed to understand. “I don’t do emotional intimacy with men.”

“You don’t owe me an explanation,” Reed answers.

“I know,” she says pointedly.

“Then why explain?” There’s resignation in her tone.

“I care about you.” She sounds exasperated, annoyed that Reed is making her spell it out. “If we sleep together, it will mean something.”

They sip their wine, and Stella waits. She’s already said more than she thought she would; too much, probably. She feels unmoored. It’s time for Reed to talk, to give something up. After a short pause, she does.

“Only a few minutes after I found out Rose was alive,” Reed begins slowly, “I heard there was a shooting at the scene. I heard three or four people had been shot, including Spector and one officer. That’s all I knew.” She swallows and meets Stella’s eyes. “The fear that it could be you emptied me of every other thought and feeling.” When Reed’s voice falters, Stella’s face softens and her chest feels tight. “I knew within minutes that you hadn’t been shot, but I can’t stop thinking about that fear. I don’t know what this is,” she gestures to their two bodies, “but if anything happened to you, I’d regret not being brave enough to find out.”

Stella’s eyes become glassy, and Reed marvels at how bright their color is even in this darkened corner of a dark bar. She looks down at her lap, back at Reed, shifts in her seat, and downs the wine that remains in her glass. Her voice is controlled and quiet when she speaks.

“So you’re saying you want to find out?”

“Yes,” Reed says, quiet and sure. “And I’m saying it will mean something for me, too.”

Stella leans in and so does Reed, and their lips meet. Both women feel it, the swelling heart, the spreading heat. Reed’s lips root Stella to the ground, tie her to this moment, to here and now. And Stella’s lips set Reed off, send her flash-soaring through midnight skies and into an exciting unknown. The kiss is lovely though brief, echoing of thanks and promise.

“Want to go make out in my car until you need to go home?” Stella asks with a smirk and a mischievous glint in her eyes.

“Yes,” Reed says as a playful grin spreads across her face, “can we please?”

They’re standing in the next moment, and neither one gives a thought to the half-full bottle of wine they leave behind.

* * *

The following Monday, Stella shows up at the mortuary in the late afternoon. Reed is taking and recording measurements in the lab when she gets there. Stella watches with interest as Reed removes an organ (the liver?) from a container and places it on a scale.

“I’ll be done in about 15 minutes,” Reed says, “If you have time to wait.”

“Yeah,” Stella smiles. “Shall I run to Clement’s and get us some coffee?”

Reed looks up with wide eyes. “D’you mean actual, not from a break room or crown-run cafeteria, coffee?”

“I do.”

“You are my favorite person in the known universe.”

“What does it say about our lives that I share your excitement?” Stella smiles wryly, which earns her a coy one in return. “Be right back.”

* * * 

It’s in Reed’s office, after Reed has changed out of scrubs and into street clothes, after they’ve exchanged the usual pleasantries, that Stella tells her. They’re sitting next to each other on the small sofa across from the desk, facing forward.

“I have news.” Reed looks at her questioningly. “I’m needed back in London next week. I leave Saturday afternoon.” Stella looks at Reed, and Reed looks away. 

“Oh.” Reed feels a slight drop in her chest. It shouldn’t surprise her that she cares so much, but it does nonetheless. “How are you feeling about that?” She turns to meet Stella’s gaze. When their eyes lock, it unlocks something else between them. The squeeze of anxiety in her belly is what Reed notices first, but it’s the unmistakable tingle of anticipation between her legs that makes her bite her bottom lip.

“Honestly?” Stella leans forward and sets her coffee on the floor.

“Of course,” Reed replies as Stella takes her coffee, too, and places it alongside her own. 

“Ambivalent.” She turns to face Reed. 

“Well, that’s understandable.” Reed shifts forward a little.

“You’re one of the few things I’m going to miss about Belfast, and I’m going to miss you most of all.” The confession comes out softly. Stella’s eyes bare her soul in its wake, and there is nothing for Reed to do but kiss her.

She takes Stella’s face in her hands and their lips meet halfway. At first tender with emotion, their need soon takes over, and Stella’s lips part to accept her. Tongues tangle and they moan into each other. Stella reaches out for Reed; her hands slide down her back, grasp at her hips, and urge her toward her lap. As she moves to straddle her, Stella’s gaze washes over her curves, and her hands find Reed’s waist, Reed’s thighs, Reed’s ass. They kiss playfully but hungrily, biting each other’s lips, sliding and sweeping tongues. When Reed leans down to lick, nip, and kiss at Stella’s neck, behind Stella’s ear, Stella’s desire flares white hot. 

“Can we go somewhere?” she asks, breathless. “I want to make love to you properly.”

Reed wrests herself from Stella’s neck and sits back. She’s about to suggest the Merchant when it hits her—she should be on her way to collect her daughters from the sitter’s. Stella sees the panic flash through Reed’s eyes, but it’s quickly replaced with a furrowed brow. She holds up a finger.

“Don’t move.” She stands to grab her cell phone from the desk and sits right back down on Stella’s lap. As Reed scrolls through her contacts to find her sister-in-law’s number, Stella’s hands slide from thighs to hips. She pulls Reed forward on her lap a bit and receives a look of warning.

Reed hits send and chews her lip until the call is answered. “Hey, Molly, what are you doing right now?” As she hears a muffled response, Stella’s fingers sneak under Reed’s shirt at the small of her back, earning her a stern glance. Stella plays innocent, eyes wide. “Is there any way you can take the girls tonight?”

Stella assumes Molly, whoever she is, is asking the expected questions, because she hears Reed say things like, “suspicious circumstances” and “on fast-track” and “Dublin on business.” But she isn’t paying very close attention to the words so much as the way the muscles in Reed’s neck move, stretch, and quiver as she speaks them, and before Stella can stop herself, she’s unbuttoning Reed’s top button and leaning in to kiss the base of her neck. As her back arches in response, Stella’s hand travels up its length to hold Reed close, firmly. Her tongue traces a line up Reed’s neck, then she sucks behind her ear. It feels so good, but it’s too distracting, and Reed bats at Stella’s head lightly and tries to wriggle away. When Stella relents, she flashes Reed a sly smirk, and even though Reed rolls her eyes, she also smiles and blushes. 

“I owe you. Kiss your husband for me.” Reed pauses then laughs and smiles widely, “Are you kidding? They’ll be thrilled when they see it’s you there to get them.” Another pause; a softer smile. “Yeah, I’ll answer if I can. Tell them I love them.” 

She ends the call and looks at Stella with a conflicting mix of guilt and pride. “I am not the worst mother who forgot about her children because she was making out with a sexy detective and then _lied_ in order to get last-minute childcare so she could go to bed with that sexy detective. That is definitely not what happened. No, what happened is, I solved a problem. I am a problem-solver.”

“Yes, you are,” Stella agrees, struggling to hide an adoring smile. 

“And you,” she raises her brows, “are a trouble-maker.”

“Uh-huh.” Stella reaches up to pull Reed’s lips down to hers. They share a sweet kiss, and when Reed moves to stand up, the hands on her thighs hold her in place gently. “You’re not the worst mother. You know that, right?”

“I do,” she replies, because she does know it—intellectually if not always emotionally.

“Good,” Stella whispers, smitten. “Can we go find a bed now?”

Reed is on her feet instantly. “My house is closer than the Merchant.” She makes sure she’s logged out of her records system then begins gathering her belongings.

“You sure?” Stella leans forward and picks up their coffees. They've gone cold, so she tosses them into the trash.

“Kids are at my brother’s overnight. Liam’s away on business. And,” she pauses for emphasis, “No reporters, no photographers, no interruptions.”

“You _are_ a problem-solver,” Stella says, standing up and shrugging on her coat.


	2. Conducting Experiments

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i set out to make this shorter & only succeeded in making it longer & thus there will be a third chapter XD

Stella follows Reed in her car and pulls up in front of the house. As she puts the car in park and gets out, she watches Reed dismount from her bike and take off her helmet. It reminds her of the first time she saw her, however many weeks ago, when she arrived at the Kay scene, a vision all in black. Reed’s curious gaze during the briefing had distracted Stella more than anyone there could possibly tell, their spirits tethering to one another well before either of them would register consciously a strong aching tug toward the other.

They come together, wordless, at the front door. Reed unlocks, they enter, and she locks up behind them. They shed shoes and coats. Reed doesn’t want to rush, but neither does she want to slow down, so she turns to face Stella. She swallows nervously and closes the remaining space between their bodies.

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” Reed whispers, “but I know that I’ve never been this wet before clothes have come off.”

Stella kisses her with a low growl, grasping her hips and pulling her in closer, as close as possible. And Reed is right there; she returns the kiss, her lips parting and her hands finding Stella’s shoulders, neck, hair, back, ass.

Stella’s cardigan is pushed from her shoulders and falls to the floor; fingertips slide up and nails drag down newly bared arms. Fingers begin to work at Reed’s buttons, and Reed leads Stella backward toward the sofa just inside the front room, never breaking their kiss until she pushes her down gently. With Stella’s gaze boring into her, Reed undoes the last button, sheds her shirt, and pulls her camisole over her head. Bright blue clouds over with desire. Shirt discarded, she straddles Stella, who goes immediately to unclasp her bra. Reed lets it fall off but catches Stella’s hands before they can touch her breasts.

“You, too,” she breathes, reaching down for the hem of Stella’s silk shell. She pulls the thin fabric over Stella’s head, and her eyes travel from the freckles on her shoulder to the smooth expanse of her abdomen and back up. One of Reed’s fingers plays just beneath the delicate trim of her bra, tracing the rise of her breast. She slips her left hand behind Stella, leaning into her, kissing her, and manages to unhook her bra without much difficulty. Breaking the kiss, she pulls back and drags her index fingers up Stella’s sternum to her suprasternal notch, where they part, slide to each shoulder, catch the straps of her bra, and slide down her arms. Reed tosses the bra aside unceremoniously, because as soon as she sees Stella’s breasts, she can barely concentrate on anything else. She takes in their shape, their fullness, her lips parting as she notes her hard nipples with pleasure.

Mirroring one another, the two women explore each other’s upper bodies with their hands. They start with shoulders, upper arms, clavicles, and Reed’s hips start rocking gently against Stella. They bring their hands to one another’s breasts at the same time, eyes darting up to meet with a smirk and a sigh before darting back to the objects of their manipulation. They caress each other’s nipples with their palms, their fingers, and Reed leans down to find Stella’s lips with her own. Sighing, they kiss, and Stella wants to flip her over, peel the rest of her clothes off, bury her face between her legs, and make her come right here, and as soon as possible. But she doesn’t want to scare Reed, and the intensity of her own desire is already frightening enough.

When Reed pulls out of the kiss, Stella leans forward and licks between her breasts, eliciting a soft murmur, and her hands move to outline their shape, support their weight, position their puckering nipples. Reed’s fingers tangle in Stella’s hair, her back arching, as Stella’s tongue finds a nipple. The sharp intake of breath encourages Stella, as do the hips and ass rolling over her lap, so she flicks and sucks and pinches until she teases out a deep throaty moan.

Another strong rush of desire causes Stella to pull back and slow down a little. She looks up at Reed. “I love your breasts,” she whispers with a smirk.

“They’re quite fond of you, too,” Reed replies, her face flushed.

“Do you want to keep going?”

“Yes.” She answers without hesitation.

“We can stop. At any time.”

“I know," Reed assures her, "but I want this. I want you.” Her fingertips brush across Stella’s forehead and tangle through her hair. “What do you want?”

“I want to touch more of you,” Stella says quietly. “All of you. Make you feel good and feel good with you.”

Reed leans in and kisses her softly, soulfully, slowly, a reward for being so brave. She pulls away and touches Stella’s cheek. “Bedroom?” 

Stella exhales and nods, and Reed shifts off her lap. Once standing, she holds out her hand to Stella, who accepts it and rises from the sofa. Reed leads her upstairs, and Stella takes the opportunity to appreciate the smooth bare skin of her back, the angles of her shoulder blades, the curve of her ass as it disappears beneath her jeans.

As soon as they step into the bedroom, Stella tugs on Reed’s hand and pulls her into a slow kiss. When their bare torsos meet, Reed releases a breath she might have been holding forever, and Stella murmurs praise against her mouth. Each one is hungry for more of the other’s skin against her own, and they begin moving toward the bed, kissing and groping their way, giggling a little at their clumsiness.

Stella pushes a smiling Reed onto the bed and watches her scramble toward the middle, where she reclines against the pillows.

“Did you know,” Stella begins, her voice heavy as she lowers herself down, “I started wanting you the day we met?” She crawls over Reed. 

“You’re joking,” Reed laughs, genuinely surprised, her hands rising to Stella’s waist and hips.

“No,” she replies, dropping a quick kiss on her mouth. “You’re hot.”

“Hot?” Reed’s hands run up and down Stella’s back slowly, already addicted to the smoothness of her skin. 

“You know—sexy, desirable, beautiful. Hot.” Reed blushes as Stella ogles her chest. Then she sighs as one of Stella’s hands brushes over her nipples lightly. Stella's own heart clenches when she whispers, “You only become more beautiful the more I see of you.”

Reed pulls her into a deep kiss, and Stella stretches out her legs, lowering her full weight onto Reed. Finally horizontal, their legs intertwine, and Stella can feel so much of Reed against her that it makes her a little lightheaded. So few are the barriers between one’s warm blood and the other’s; they sigh, moan, and gasp into each other’s mouths.

Stella can’t remember the last time she kissed with this kind of abandon, and she wonders how long it’s been for Reed. Which takes her immediately to husband territory, so she turns from that thought and refocuses on the hand that’s caressing her ass. She pulls away slightly in order to access Reed’s breasts. Reed’s moan deepens when Stella’s fingers test her reactions to rolling, pinching, pulling.

Then her mouth is moving down to Reed’s neck, to her collarbone, to her shoulder, and it’s emitting small noises of satisfaction and approval. Reed’s back arches as Stella’s tongue sneaks out to tease at pebbled nipple. She groans and sighs, and before long, her hips begin to roll beneath Stella’s relentless treatment. 

Reed’s breathing is heavy, her hands in Stella’s hair, and she’s starting to feel almost dizzy. When the attention becomes too much, she pulls Stella’s mouth back up to hers and rolls her over onto her back. She draws back to watch as she dances fingertips over Stella’s right nipple, then her left. They pucker and begin to form into peaks. She pinches them lightly, licking her lips, then a little harder. Stella wriggles beneath her, moaning and humming, and Reed dips her head down to catch her mouth in a searing kiss.

Breaking the kiss to move down, Reed wastes no time in taking a nipple between her teeth, and her dark eyes dart up just in time to see Stella’s look of surprise and pleasure. She works at one nipple with her hand and the other with her mouth, and Stella inhales deeply, her back arching. Reed swings a knee between Stella’s legs, pressing up into her center, and Stella gasps before rocking against Reed’s thigh.

For the first time, Reed experiences the rush, both literal and figurative, of making Stella move and moan like this. She immediately wants more. Her free hand moves from nipple to waist, then waist to taut belly, then her fingertips are brushing across the skin just above the waistband of Stella’s trousers. She pulls her mouth from Stella’s breast to ask permission with her eyes, and they maintain steady eye contact while a button is undone and a zipper unzipped. Reed’s hand slips in and over the warm damp crotch of Stella’s panties. Stella exhales, trembles beneath the light pressure of Reed’s fingers, looking both hesitant and eager.

Reed kisses her hard before sitting up and back; she hooks her fingers over trousers and panties and tugs. Stella’s hips rise and fall almost without her conscious permission. Propped up on elbows, eyes wide and breath shaky, Stella watches Reed dispose of her pants then sprinkle kisses over the tops of her thighs, the outside of her knees, the ridge of her hip.

“I can smell you,” Reed says, her eyes alive with lust. She pulls Stella’s legs apart gently so she can kneel between them and takes in her neat pink sex, flushed and waiting. “Beautiful,” she exhales. “May I touch?” 

The question alone produces an aching rush of wetness, and Stella’s nod is slight, slow. She’s surprised that Reed is taking the lead, but she may be more surprised that she’s allowing her to, at least for now. Despite (or maybe because of) feeling so exposed, the assertiveness is such a turn on. This particular combination of excitement and vulnerability is unfamiliar to Stella, and it’s been so long since she’s let anyone see her, feel her, touch her like this. Up close and wide open. She wonders if Reed has any idea how special this is. How special, how rare, she is.

Spreading Stella open with her left hand, Reed inhales sharply, an unexpected shock of pleasure at how she glistens with arousal. Her own excitement pools in her underwear, and she slides the tip of her middle finger into Stella gingerly to feel how wet and warm she is. Stella moans softly and Reed sighs, her lips parting as she dips her finger in a little deeper. She pulls Stella’s juices up to her hood and the delicate pearl of her glans.

At first, Reed’s fingers touch her most sensitive spots with a care bordering on trepidation. She becomes bolder, though, as she continues to experiment, to play. Reed studies Stella’s reactions—her breathing, her wriggling, her mouth and eyes—testing out strokes and caresses of various pressures and speeds. Stella’s soft moans begin to sound more like needy mewls, and Reed knows she could spend hours like this, learning what she likes and making her come slowly undone.

For her part, Stella plays willing subject, which isn’t difficult because Reed’s fingers are agile and she’s a quick study. But it also _is_ difficult because Stella isn’t especially patient, and it’s starting to bother her that Reed’s jeans are still on. And yet, she finds it so very easy to accept Reed’s attention, to accept her close concentration, to indulge her pursuit of knowledge. Easy, that is, until she can’t take any more teasing, at which point she pushes Reed’s hand away.

“My turn,” she rasps, sitting up and flipping Reed onto her back. Stella is kissing her before she has a chance to catch her breath, and her fingers are dancing over Reed’s abdomen and down to the edge of her jeans. Stella pops open the button and pulls out of their kiss. “This okay?”

“Yeah,” Reed says, her voice a touch hoarse, her eyes both brighter and darker with desire.

Stella unzips and sits back. Reed raises her hips in offer, and Stella smirks as she grasps at the waistband of her pants and underwear and tugs them down. Once they’re past her thighs, Stella moves aside and pulls them off from the other end. Hips sink into the mattress as Stella’s gaze washes over her from toe to head and back down to breasts and belly. She slips down next to her, lying on her side and draping her upper leg over one of Reed’s.

She leans in and kisses her softly, sweetly, and Reed’s hand finds its way into Stella’s hair. Stella’s hand moves slowly in a southerly direction, taking its time, stopping along its journey to visit with breasts and grasp at hip.

Reed loves how her skin feels beneath Stella’s touch, contact so gentle and reverent it’s a perfect complement to the possessive need in her grip. Her legs fall further open of their own accord, and Stella’s hand comes to rest over her damp curls.

“Touch me,” Reed whispers against Stella’s mouth, “please.”

Stella’s sex clenches in response, and a single finger slides the length of Reed. Both women gasp.

“My god, you’re wet,” Stella husks as her fingers start to explore her new lover’s swollen, needy cunt. Reed looks slightly chagrined, so Stella flashes a wicked smile and purrs, “No, I fucking love it.” She kisses Reed’s neck, jaw, lips, muffling a moan. When she pulls away, she whispers, “Show me how you touch yourself.” 

Reed blushes and hesitates, so Stella removes her hand. Reed whimpers her plaint. It’s when Stella brings her fingers to her mouth and sucks Reed’s flavor from them that Reed groans and brings her right hand to rest between her legs. Then Stella’s mouth is on hers, and Reed can taste herself on Stella’s tongue, and she knows there’s no _good_ reason to be embarrassed. 

By the time Stella ends the kiss, she’s rolling one of Reed’s nipples between her thumb and index finger, and Reed’s fingers are moving between her legs. Stella pulls back further and cranes her neck, watching the mechanics of how Reed pleasures herself. When she looks back up at Reed, she’s smiling a very pleased smile, and her eyes seem almost predatory. All it does is make Reed wetter.

As Stella goes back to observing, Reed notes two things. First, that Stella is conducting her own experiment, similar to Reed’s but with a different methodology, and secondly, that she’s never felt so wanted. Not like this, not for the sole purpose of her pleasure rather than the pleasure she might provide.

And anyway, her pleasure provides pleasure to Stella. Reed can tell. She can tell by the way Stella’s breathing deepens, by the way her hips can’t seem to stay still. She can tell by the way her hand comes to cover hers, by the way she slips it beneath, displacing Reed’s hand with her own. Stella slides a finger inside, and both women exhale a heavy sigh. Then she kisses Reed and her finger starts moving, exploring Reed’s ridges and hollows with her gentle caress. 

Reed’s hands occupy themselves, one dragging its nails across Stella’s shoulder and down her arm, and the other absently twisting the sheets. Stella is nibbling at her nipple now, and Reed can barely stand it. Her hips are wriggling, and she needs more than one finger, and she’s torn between wanting this newness to last forever and begging Stella to just fuck her already.

Before she can choose, Stella pulls back from her breast and looks up at Reed. Lust darkens her blue eyes as she asks, “Can I use my mouth?”

“Oh, fuck. Yes.” It’s barely more than a sigh.

Stella moves down her body quickly and positions herself on her stomach between Reed’s legs. She snakes her arms under her thighs, holding her legs apart, and looks up at her.

“You’ll say so if you want me to stop?” Reed nods, her eyes glued to Stella. “It’s okay to tell me what isn’t working. All I want is to make you feel good.”

“Okay,” Reed breathes out. She can’t remember the last time she felt so nervous and so needy in bed. It’s possible she never has.

Starting slowly, Stella runs her tongue through Reed’s labia, feeling her way with care, humming with pleasure at the first traces of her flavor. She draws wide circles around her hood and massages between her clit and her opening. Eventually, her tongue dips inside, just a little at first, just to taste. The thick tangy sweetness of Reed’s arousal goes straight to Stella’s head, and when Reed responds with a low moan and a tentative roll of her pelvis, she pushes her tongue in as deeply as she can.

Appetite whetted by Reed’s desire, Stella devours her like she’s a piece of summer fruit, heavy with ripeness; flesh fragile and warm from the sun; juices sticky on her chin. She alternates sucking and licking with thrusts of her tongue, making Reed whimper and squirm. When her hips start rocking insistently, Stella slides a finger inside her cunt, and she moans.

“More.” In slides a second finger. “Yes,” Reed hisses, which morphs into a low growl when Stella’s fingers begin moving.

With her other hand, Stella spreads Reed apart and begins tonguing her clit. Her tongue is soft, flat, wide, wet as it plays with her and gets to know what she likes and where she likes it. Soon it becomes stiffer, lapping and flicking purposefully. When Stella adds a third finger, Reed groans, and her pitch is deeper than ever. Setting her thrusts at a firm and steady pace, Stella closes her mouth around Reed and sucks her clit into her mouth, letting it roll over her tongue, urging her on. 

“Fuck, that feels good,” Reed pants with a hint of desperation. She exhales heavily as her hands knead her own breasts. Glancing down at Stella, she takes a moment to memorize the view. The visual reminder that this is actually happening, that the blonde with her face between her legs is Stella, washes over her like a warm wave. When Stella looks up, mouth still closed over and working at her, they make eye contact, and Reed tightens around Stella's fingers before she asks, breathlessly, “Do you want me to come?”

Stella’s eyes narrow and she nods, humming, “Mmmhmmm.” And within moments, Reed is climaxing, bucking against her face, back arching, crying out, shuddering and grasping at a shoulder. Stella’s mouth stays with her as best it can until her clit can’t take anymore, and Stella’s fingers fuck her thoroughly, deeply, until a hand stills her. Reed holds Stella's hand in place as she writhes through aftershocks and tremors. 

When Reed finally opens her eyes, the desire on Stella’s face is enough to make her pussy clench around the fingers still inside her. There’s swagger in Stella’s smile, and Reed’s mouth stretches into a satisfied grin. They laugh, which makes Reed clench again, groaning, which only makes them laugh again, and so Stella pulls out slowly.

“Oh fuck, Stella, that was so good,” Reed says, pulling Stella’s face up to hers and catching her passionately in an open-mouthed kiss.

“You’re exquisite,” Stella gasps between kisses. “Delicious.”

Reed rolls Stella onto her back and slips down to nestle against her, resting her head on her chest and wrapping an arm around her waist snugly. Still tingling and shaky from her orgasm, she’s hit with a wave of feeling so strong her eyes become glassy with unshed tears. She must tense slightly without realizing, because Stella tilts her head down.

“You okay?” she asks softly, fingers brushing dark strands from Reed’s neck.

“Yeah,” Reed answers and loosens her hold on Stella’s waist. “Better than okay.” Her hand travels down the curve of Stella’s hip to her thigh, and now it’s Stella’s turn to tense slightly. But Reed just keeps stroking Stella’s skin—whichever skin happens to be within reach—until she first relaxes then, shortly thereafter, begins moving her hips.

Reed props herself up a bit to look at Stella, whose eyes are lidded and whose nostrils flare. Tilting her head, Reed kisses her jaw tenderly then her mouth. Stella makes a small noise of pleasure as Reed’s palm graces her nipple, which causes Reed to push herself up and crawl over Stella’s body, arousal and energy flaring at her own intentions. She takes a few moments to look at Stella, supine and flushed.

“You don—” Stella begins, misreading her intense gaze as uncertainty. But Reed cuts her off with a finger to her lips.

“Shhh,” she says, her eyes softer but no less intense, a small smile playing at the corner of her mouth. After kissing her gently, Reed whispers, “Let me take care of you.”


	3. Interpreting Results

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for making you wait--we had some arguments, this chapter and i.  
> thanks for the kudos & comments!! so happy people are enjoying <3

“You’re stunning,” Reed breathes, her fingers tracing the lines of Stella’s face and the curve of her shoulder. Her touch is reverent first and ravenous second. She lowers her head, runs her tongue along the graceful line of Stella’s clavicle and nudges her head gently, urging her to expose her neck. She does, tilting back and to the side, offering herself up. Reed’s mouth explores, finds and teases at the sensitive spot behind her jaw, discovers to their mutual delight that she goes a little wild when teeth sink into sinew and tendon at just the right angle. 

A desire to submit, to be taken, to be at Reed’s mercy, overcomes Stella. Control is a strange thing, always seeking its own destruction. What is so beautifully different here, with Reed, is the trust they’ve begun building—far from complete but more than enough so that Stella isn’t merely willing to relinquish control. She wants to give it all away. Which almost makes her ping back to the other extreme and hold onto the reins even tighter.

But it feels so fucking good to have Reed’s mouth and hands on her skin, and she’s suddenly so grateful that, if nothing else, she will have this to remember of Belfast. She will have the way Reed smells, the way her dark hair falls in such stark contrast against Stella’s own pale skin, the way she has already opened herself to Stella. Even without knowing where her line will be, it’s not hard for Stella to decide that she’ll cede every ounce she’s capable of giving.

Reed sucks at a nipple and rolls it gently between her teeth, watching Stella’s face the whole time. As she moves to her other nipple, she snakes her right hand down between Stella’s legs and teases at her inner thighs before running her middle finger over the length of her slick sex.

Stella gasps. Her body jerks, a live wire, and she’s so goddamn wet. A wave of arousal washes through Reed, leaving in its wake an intense urge to fuck Stella, to bury her fingers deep inside and fill her up before draining her. Instead, Reed sighs and plays at her opening before moving up to caress her clit with an almost too-light touch. Stella moans and her pelvis presses down into the mattress. Her responsiveness only stokes the flame between Reed’s legs.

“What do you need?” Reed’s voice is breathy, a combination of arousal and disbelief. Disbelief at how turned on she is so soon after coming. Disbelief at how touching Stella like this feels almost as if she were touching herself, too.

“You inside me,” Stella pleads, her eyes locking into Reed’s and her hands grasping restlessly at various parts of Reed’s body—her shoulder, her hip, her forearm, her ass.

Reed maintains eye contact as she slides two fingers effortlessly into Stella’s cunt. One woman exhales; the other hisses. Stella is so soft—satiny—and she’s so warm. Reed had no idea. She thinks she could stay here, safe inside Stella, and never need anything else; it’s overwhelming. Positioning her thumb over Stella’s clit, she pushes her fingers deeper. Stella whimpers. On instinct, Reed adds a third finger, eliciting a deep groan of pleasure. She moves in and out slowly a few times, responding to Stella’s movements as she adjusts to the additional girth.

“Good?” she asks with only a touch of uncertainty.

“Mmmmm, so good,” Stella drawls and murmurs her satisfaction. Her eyes flutter closed and her back arches.

Reed starts fucking her a little more assertively. Hearing Stella’s soft noises and feeling her swell and tighten in her hands is intoxicating. She thinks she would do just about anything to make this woman feel good. Making Stella feel good is a whole new kind of powerful, and Reed’s own need for her lover’s pleasure grows stronger.

She was worried that she’d be able to receive but not ready to give, or that she wouldn’t know what to do, or that she’d feel like something was missing. But this is not lack; this is surplus. It’s not some dark mystery; it’s illuminating. Not some complicated riddle but one of the easiest puzzles to solve. If it didn’t feel so incredible, Reed might be running scared.

As Stella begins rocking her hips more intently with Reed’s strokes, she raises the leg Reed straddles. Her thigh connects with Reed’s center, making her moan and press back, grinding into the contact. Stella’s fingers sweep over her own clit as she watches Reed’s reaction, feels her wet and warm against her leg, and contracts around her fingers.

“I love the way you feel inside,” Reed rasps, hoping she conveys the raw desire, the awe, Stella’s body inspires in her.

The words send a shock straight to Stella’s pussy, and she releases a low groan. The fingers on her clit begin to set a rhythm. Reed thrusts with purpose now, and Stella’s so worked up that her words come out staccato-like between panting breaths: “Your fingers are so fucking good.”

“I could fuck you for days,” she coos, squirming and rubbing against Stella’s thigh.

“Oh god,” Stella moans, low and long. “Harder.” Her eyes look desperate. “Just like that, yeah; fuck, just like that.” Her body starts trembling—“Don’t stop”—she exhales, and her face relaxes—“I’m coming”—then her mouth falls open with a shudder, and Reed’s reaching thrusts send Stella off the edge. Into a free fall. She cries out, quite loudly, and her body stiffens. Then her hips are bucking and her fingers are a blur at her clit and a string of expletive-laden words that Reed can’t quite catch comes streaming from her mouth.

Experiencing Stella’s climax—watching her and feeling her and hearing her come—is a revelation. Reed slows her fingers, stroking deeply inside until Stella’s hand stills her, and the throbbing between her own legs strengthens. Stella spasms and pulsates around Reed as she comes down, and there is something so pure and almost miraculous about her orgasm, about being here for it, about feeling it with her.

Stella pulls Reed’s fingers from her, slowly, groaning in simultaneous pleasure and loss. She collapses, sprawled out on the bed. Her eyes are closed and she moans quietly, rolling her head back and forth as the final few waves crest and dissipate, leaving her boneless and stranded. Reed sprinkles smiling kisses over her hips, belly, and ribs. Positive reinforcement. When Stella opens her eyes, they find Reed, and she reaches out. Smiling and giggling, they kiss clumsily while murmuring sweet words of thanks and praise.

Reed falls onto her back, and Stella scrambles to burrow into her warmth. Resting her head on her chest, she inhales the scent at Reed’s collarbone, and her fingers lazily explore abdomen and hips. Reed’s arm wraps around Stella, and she strokes her upper back and shoulder.

Before very long, Stella tilts her head up to peer at Reed.

“Hmm?” Reed asks after a moment, looking down at her.

“I can’t remember the last time I’ve come so hard,” she states with a hazy earnestness, her voice gravelly.

Reed grins, equal parts excited and proud. “Hope it’s not just beginner’s luck.”

“Oh no, sweetheart,” Stella replies, looking and sounding quite thoroughly fucked. “Oh no no no. You are a natural.”

“It certainly felt natural,” Reed answers, her voice lowering just a bit. 

“Yeah?” Stella asks tentatively, pushing up on her elbow a little.

“Yeah,” she whispers, brushing her fingertips across Stella’s cheek and through her hair. Tears rise in Reed’s eyes, and though she pulls them back quickly, they don’t escape Stella’s notice.

Stella scoots up and kisses her; it’s saturated with meaning yet careful and soothing. She pulls away to meet Reed’s eyes and ask, “Have any food in this house?” before kissing her again.

Reed relaxes beneath Stella, grateful for the change in subject, and smiles into their kiss. She pulls back a bit to whisper, “I’m sure we could find some,” then her lips recapture Stella’s.

Stella’s body responds, melting into Reed, her tongue seeking entry. Opening to accept her, Reed’s hand rises to Stella’s back where, with the softest touch, she traces its slopes and curves. They kiss leisurely, lovingly, without desperation—a combination made possible by their new and intimate knowledge. Even as both women note familiar shadows lurking at the periphery of their minds, they seem to come to an unspoken agreement that they’ll be ignoring them for now. Fear occupies enough of their time, saps enough of their energy, steals enough joy. They have no time or energy to waste on fear tonight, not here in this space of their own making.

Tonight, they agree, belongs to Stella and Reed, to their pleasure and their desires, to their comfort and care. They will not simply allow themselves to feel good; they will embrace feeling good in all its forms, luxuriate in it for themselves and one another. Reed will remind Stella that her needs get to take priority sometimes; Stella will remind Reed that there’s nothing shameful in enjoying what feels good; and together, they’ll unlearn and learn anew.

Tonight, though they don't yet know it, they begin to heal. Some wounds are raw; brand new and red with blood and fury. And some are so old they’ve gone dim, obscured beneath more pressing and present concerns but underlying everything nonetheless. Each one wants and needs tonight for herself only slightly more than she wants it for the other, and so they agree: tonight, together, just this matters.

Stella’s hand begins to play near Reed’s hip and the outside of her ass and thigh. As if on cue, right as Reed’s hips sink and roll, Stella’s stomach growls its hunger. They laugh, breaking their kiss, but otherwise staying just as they are.

“I’m starving,” Stella says, gripping at Reed’s waist, “but I don’t want to get out of this bed.”

“We could have something delivered,” Reed replies. She’s hungry, too, but she’s also still very turned on from making love to Stella. “My iPad is right over there.” She forces herself to roll out from under Stella so she can grab it from her nightstand. Propped up on her side, her back to Stella, she unlocks it and pulls up a delivery app.

“Solving problems again?” Snuggling up behind and against Reed, Stella trails her lips lightly across her shoulder.

“It’s a compulsion,” Reed jokes, her body accepting Stella’s warmth and seeking out more of it. “What d’you want?” Stella replies with a low suggestive chuckle and a nip at Reed’s shoulder. “I mean for dinner,” she admonishes, grinning.

Stella brushes Reed’s hair from her neck. “Whatever you want is fine,” she says absently, distracted by her throbbing pulse point.

“Stella.” Reed’s voice is stern. Playfully, yes, but without hiding that she expects her to pay attention. She smirks to herself when she hears Stella inhale deeply and exhale slowly.

Resting her chin on Reed’s arm, Stella leans over to look at the screen. Reed scrolls through their options until Stella makes a noise to stop. 

“Butter chicken?” she suggests. Reed smiles. “Lots of naan.” 

Reed navigates to the menu. They go a little overboard with the amount of food they order, but they’re both famished and it’s a night of indulgence. Stella doesn’t wait for Reed to finish placing the order before she refocuses on her other appetite.

“Hurry up,” she whispers next to Reed’s ear then kisses behind it. Reed releases a soft moan. Stella’s hand travels down the back of her leg then up the front and comes to rest just above the line of her pubic hair. Fingers play at soft curls. “I need to make you come again.”

So Reed hurries, and Stella makes her come twice before the food arrives.


End file.
